Nirvana
by A September Rose
Summary: [Third in Metta trilogy] Nirvana is the Ultimate goal in Buddhism, freedom from desire and ignorance... pure bliss. Gojyo helps Sanzo realize that some desires are worth pursuing. [53, Yaoi, lemon]


Disclaimer: Saiyuki – not mine. Minekura's.

Thank you: Shin-no-nekochan, Hakkai-beta extraordinaire.

Note: The last in the "trilogy" of Buddhist stories, though far from the last of my entries into 53. I really appreciate all the good reviews I've received so far and I hope I can continue to hold myself to this standard. ::_sweat_:: I also apologize for Gojyo in this fic… he can be a bit of a cornball. I both dedicate to and blame this story on the numerous 'plotkappas' that live in my brain. Why can't I just get normal plotbunnies like everyone else?

Warning: Yaoi lemon. Rated M for a reason.

Nirvana

In the darkness of our room, my eyes were of no use to me. Sure, they were sharper than an average human's, but I didn't need them for this. I allowed my other senses to take over.

I heard Sanzo's labored breathing as I leaned over him in our bed. He let out a frustrated moan when my hand trailed down his stomach, teasing, purposely avoiding his need just below. He muttered my name over and over as I nipped gently at his neck. I was nearly incoherent myself, whispering endearments to him. The covers rustled against our legs before falling off the bed entirely with a swish.

Every time our skin met, it produced a wave of pleasure. My fingers slid further down, finally reaching their prize. I felt him arch underneath me—we were both becoming slick with sweat and the friction felt even more wonderful. As I stroked him, worshipped him with my hands, I also felt my heart slamming against my ribs, threatening to escape. One of his hands tangled itself in my hair, sending tingles through my scalp. The other moved down past my stomach and slowly mirrored my techniques to the point where I could barely concentrate on what I was doing to **him**.

I always had a hard time describing what Sanzo tasted like. There was the natural salt produced by the sweat, but something else that eluded my vocabulary. His lips at the moment were tainted by Marlboro. Venturing deeper into his mouth with my tongue reminded me of the sweet sake we'd had after dinner that evening. He kissed back more insistently, no doubt tasting the remains of my own after-dinner cigarette.

Tobacco was Sanzo's dominant scent as well. It was powerful, but once you got close enough, it wasn't as important. He always smelled fresh; even in the heat of battle, covered with blood, I could never pick up anything but his own natural scent. His hair – oh gods – I could bury my nose in it forever and just take in that **thing** that was uniquely Sanzo. I've started wearing less of my own cologne since we've been together… the last thing I want is for something artificial to overpower him.

My senses were now completely focused on him, almost taking on a life of their own. It was a physical connection deeper than anything I'd ever had before.

From his moans, I heard, 'I need you.'

From his hand in my hair, I felt, 'Never leave me.'

From his hungry mouth against mine, I tasted, 'I can't get enough of you.'

From my nose pressed against his skin, I could smell, 'I can't live without you.'

After that, I stopped thinking. I followed him to climax and opened my eyes again, seeing his thin, not-quite fragile form shift under me on the bed. Then I heard a voice, almost too quiet to pick up on.

"I **love** you."

-+-

I almost felt bad for Sanzo. Okay, not really. But we had just arrived at this town after a needlessly long ordeal with a group of disgruntled youkai. Signs outside the town proclaimed that it was home to over 100 devout lay Buddhists and the citizens were the best versed in the area.

These same citizens then, naturally, recognized that the Great, Wise, and Wonderful Genjyo Sanzo-_houshi_-sama had stopped by and insisted on him touring the town and lecturing them to their little hearts' desire.

And the three of us talked him into doing it. Because we were tired and wanted to shower and go to bed. Besides, no one expected anything of Sanzo-sama's three "faithful disciples," right? So we could take a well-deserved nap while we waited for him to get back.

He returned around dinnertime. The meal unfortunately consisted of vegetarian dishes only – no booze – served by women old enough to be my grandmother. Looking completely exhausted, he trudged over to the rectangular table and collapsed into the chair on my right, head slumped just a bit. I tried to put a reassuring hand on his leg, but he shoved me away and flipped me off simultaneously.

Directly across from him, the feeding frenzy slowed. "Wha 'samatter, Thanzo?" Goku attempted through a mouthful of rice. Even in the worst food conditions, he'd still opt to eat whatever was there instead of going without. Kid doesn't know the meaning of the word 'picky.'

"What do you **think** is the matter, _bakazaru_?" Sanzo snarled back as his hand reached up for his temple and rubbed it. "Those idiots didn't leave me alone for a **second**, always asking stupid questions that they already know the answers to. Some dumb shit about 'testing my knowledge,' all arrow questions(1) if I ever heard them—"

"Perhaps they are a little overzealous, if their focus isn't on the poison," Hakkai offered, obviously understanding something about Sanzo's comment that I didn't, and took a sip of water. He was sitting straight across from me and he'd been alternating between picking through the vegetable stir-fry and attempting to feed Hakuryu, who was perched on his shoulder. The little dragon kept turning his nose up at the proffered tofu and frankly I couldn't blame him. Where was the meat, dammit?

"That's putting it lightly," Sanzo said, withdrawing his cigarettes. I immediately offered up my lighter, which he accepted with the tiniest head nod. I knew that was his way of saying thanks. "What's unfortunate is that they seem genuine. I can't sense anything wrong with this village."

"That's considered unfortunate, now, is it?" That was Hakkai's 'you-mortals-amuse-me' smile. "I would think it wise to play along; after all, while you were out, one of the staff mentioned that there is a hot springs just up the hill."

Hot springs?

My mouth fell open. "Hakkai, why didn't you **tell** me about this? We're all exhausted from that shit back there and there's a frickin' **onsen**?"

"I did attempt to tell you, Gojyo," he replied, subtly shifting over to the 'I-have-something-on-you' smile, "but you were too anxious to see a certain someone and shooed me away."

I quickly shot a look over to Goku, to see if he'd picked it up, but he was busy tossing pieces of carrot to Hakuryu, who was impressively snatching them out of midair. Good. **Now** I could defend myself. "Well, you…"

"Does it really matter?" Sanzo cut me off, sighing and shoving his food aside. He'd barely touched it; I made a mental note to get on him about that later. "Baths are nice and all, but if it means I have to sacrifice more of my precious time to 'impart my wisdom,' I'll live with a goddamn shower."

"Sanzo-sama!"

He grimaced right before smacking his palm over his face. I heard a disgusted "ch" as a short, worried-looking bald man ran up to us, stopping just behind Goku's shoulder. He bowed a couple times, mumbling apologies.

"Sanzo-sama, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your meal, but there's a crisis!"

A slender golden eyebrow arched, daring the man to continue. "If it's not someone dying, then I don't care." He paused. "Actually, even if someone were dying, I still wouldn't care."

I could'a told him that just by the expression on Sanzo's face.

"Rather harsh, don't you think?" Hakkai quietly chimed in, but a glare silenced him quite effectively.

"Well, it's that…" the man trailed off, rubbing his fingers together nervously. "Two of the town elders are having a dispute. I knew that you were the only one who could tell them who was right."

Sanzo opened his mouth, but something kept him from saying whatever insult he was about to use. He sunk back, resigned. He was probably way too tired to even fight them anymore. "Go on." The words came out through gritted teeth and I knew he was using every last ounce of what little patience he possessed.

"It's about the nature of nirvana. Please follow me, they'll explain it better."

Sanzo now sat rigid in his seat; even though I couldn't see his face from where I sat, I knew he was fighting off a mix of rage and exasperation. "I have more important things to do than—"

"You know," Hakkai suddenly put in. His monocle gleamed for just a split second as a thoughtful expression settled on his face. "It's interesting, but in all the years we've known Sanzo, none of us have **ever** heard him lecture. I think it would be wonderfully educational."

"Yeah." I was feeling a bit malicious, too; I could play along, just to see Sunshine start that slow burn across his face. "It'd be like going to see one of those comets that only passes by the Earth once every hundred years. I'd be up for it."

Goku beamed from across the table, food actually forgotten for once. "Naa, Hakkai… does hearin' him mean like when he's screamin' at all the other monks? 'Cuz I heard that **all** the time in Chang'An…"

"All three of you want to die that badly, huh?" Sanzo muttered under his breath, but started to get to his feet anyway. "All around me, stupidity."

-+-

Two of the oldest men I'd ever seen in my life stood arguing on a raised platform in the center of town. Their voices were almost the same gravelly pitch, but they both got higher as the disagreement continued.

The old guy standing on the left had a long white beard that reached to the middle of his chest; other than that, he was completely bald. He was dressed in an orange robe with red trim down the center and on the ends of his sleeves.

The other one wasn't exactly a fashion plate either, with his dark blue robe with purple trim and a long white mustache that went past his chin. It was almost comical.

Screw 'almost,' it **was** pretty damn funny. I ended up pretending to cough a lot as we got closer. Sanzo seemed to tense more with every step. If there's one thing I know about the guy, he hates any and all forms of bureaucracy when it comes to religion. Part of me actually hoped Sanzo was planning on ripping them a new one.

"I'm telling you, **Honorable** Elder Shen," said the man in the orange, "After one attains enlightenment and passes from this life, he arrives at Nirvana and spends eternity with all others who have ended suffering."

"And I must **politely** disagree, Honorable Elder Chung," replied the man in the blue, eyes narrowed just a tad. "After one attains enlightenment and passes from this life, he ascends to a heaven known as Nirvana and uses the power of his karma to help those who remain on Earth."

"With all due **respect**, Honorable Shen," Chung interjected, venom coursing through each word. "I must say that you're the worst excuse for a Buddhist scholar I've ever seen. I can't imagine how ashamed your teacher must be of your unskillfulness."

Shen stroked the ends of his mustache before shooting back with, "With all due respect, I can't imagine how ashamed your **mother **must be of your **stubbornness**."

This was too much. I was fighting desperately to keep from snickering, but the image of the old men smacking the hell out of each other was going to be my undoing. Hakkai shot me a look that was either indignation or amusement – hard to tell with that guy.

"Elders, please!" The nervous little man from before was back. He inserted himself between the two geezers and sweated a little as they turned their ire onto him. "The wise High Priest Genjyo Sanzo is visiting our town and has agreed to settle your dispute!"

"I don't recall agreeing to anything…" Sanzo snarled under his breath, but realized the futility as the elders stared at him in a mix of wonder and surprise.

"S-Sanzo-sama, forgive us for our impudence," Shen choked out, glancing up and down at him. "It's simply a difference of opinion, please don't think ill of us."

"Too late." I just barely heard him mutter, which made me grin. Hot springs or not, this was too good to not play along. Sanzo cleared his throat and stared straight ahead, probably analyzing the situation. If he was glaring at the two old guys, better them than the three of us.

"So let me get this straight: the two of you, who consider yourselves 'devout' Buddhist scholars, are ready to kill each other over doctrine?" He snorted. "Then both of you have already failed." He turned to the rest of us. "This is ridiculous. We're going back to the inn."

"But… but Sanzo-sama!" Chung begged, catching hold of Sanzo's sleeve. Uh-oh. Usually that meant whoever was holding on was about three seconds from a bullet in the head. "We apologize! We are but two humble old laymen and know not the ways of the Great Vehicle! Please correct our mistaken beliefs with your infinite wisdom!"

Now Sanzo's face had twisted into a pretty impressive death glare. He was very good at knowing when people were bullshitting him or not. If anything, groveling just pissed him off more. "All right," he decided after a minute, the glare shifting over to a smirk. His facial expressions were more than enough to keep me amused now. "You want 'wisdom?' I'll give you wisdom." He then started making his way over to the platform.

"I must say, I'm impressed," Hakkai commented to my left. "Sanzo has really stepped up to the challenge. He really is quite erudite when it comes to this sort of thing." Goku sat at our feet, looking like he wasn't sure if he should be bored or excited.

I gave a 'tch' of my own, fishing around for a cigarette. My pack was almost empty and I made a mental note to stop by a store after this. "I'll guess that means 'smart.' Yeah, most of it goes over my head, but I don't doubt that he's the real thing."

"Oh, I wasn't implying that he's not." Hakkai crossed his arms in front of him and Hakuryu landed on his shoulder, momentarily blocked his face from my view. Once the white neck leaned back, I could see a thoughtful expression settle on my best friend's face. "One doesn't just get randomly picked to be a Sanzo. Besides that, growing up in a temple exposes you to such things whether you like it or not."

"_Haraheta_…" We both looked down to see Goku resting his chin in his hands. "I hope Sanzo hurries up with this. That veggie stuff isn't filling at all!"

Up on the platform, Sanzo was really going all out. He'd seated himself lotus-style on the edge and the townspeople were moving as close as possible, I guess in the hopes that his 'holiness' would rub off on them. He stared directly at the two elders, who had nearly prostrated themselves in front of him. His face held the same impenetrable expression, but his eyes had softened just a bit.

Seeing him up there, looking so commanding and authoritative sent a jolt through me, making me swallow. Okay, so I officially believed in the 'power is a turn-on' thing now. I felt that familiar ache again in the pit of my stomach and my brain instantly flashed back to last night, how we had gotten so close and backed off yet again. I became determined at that moment that I wouldn't let another night slip by just settling for groping and kissing.

"So, you're all obsessed over defining Nirvana," he began, folding his arms in his lap and still managing to pull off that air of condescension without directing it at everyone in the audience. The two geezers shook a little in front of him. Good. "Since you're all such excellent Buddhist scholars, why don't you tell me what the Buddha himself said about Nirvana?"

"The end of suffering!"

"The blowing out of a candle!"

Geez, they were all shouting out answers and raising their hands like a bunch of schoolchildren. Next to me, Hakkai was letting just a hint of a smile show. " 'What is the Absolute?' " he called out, making Sanzo's head rise. " 'It is the extinction of desire, the extinction of hatred, and the extinction of illusion. That is the Absolute.' "

Sanzo smiled back just as slyly. Hakkai's vast knowledge never ceased to amaze any of us. Even Goku was looking up in awe. " 'Nirvana is the Supreme Bliss.' That is what he said," Sanzo continued.

"Nirvana cannot be explained in words. It is Truth. Nirvana is neither good nor bad," he continued. It was hard to believe that Sanzo could go back and forth like this, from scathing and icy to downright charismatic. His language had even taken on a more polite style, though the tone never changed. The golden blond of his hair was almost blinding when the setting sun caught it. He looked like a living painting.

"Nirvana, being Truth, is reality. Getting rid of passions and anxiety, becoming free of them, knowing that the cycle of rebirth is done, that is ultimate knowledge." Sanzo's eyes locked with mine. I found myself forgetting to breathe, lost in brilliant purple. "You all wish to know what is after Nirvana. You confuse it with an afterlife of its own. But Nirvana can actually mean freedom."

"Ah!" Chung's eyes lit up and I swore he was this close to sticking his tongue out at Shen. "I knew that one became free from the suffering world below! It is a paradise with loved ones who have already escaped the cycle!"

Shen sneered. "Obviously, you are misinterpreting Sanzo-sama's words entirely. He just explained that Nirvana is not about an afterlife. One must use their karma—"

"I don't believe I was finished speaking," Sanzo cut in, somehow managing to out-sneer the slightly shocked elder. "Nirvana is Absolute Freedom: freedom from craving, evil, ignorance, and hatred. Freedom is not usually a negative thing, so how can we say 'extinguish?' When one dies and is free from the cycle, what remains? If Nirvana is Ultimate Truth, what is there beyond Ultimate?"

Hakkai called out once again. " 'One lives the holy life, with Nirvana as the final plunge, as its goal, as its ultimate end.' " It was frickin' hilarious to see the geezers' heads spinning back and forth from Sanzo to Hakkai like that. I wished for one of the first times in my life that I could pull off the intellectual thing and get away with a stunt like this.

"If you truly desire Nirvana – which you shouldn't because you shouldn't be desiring anything – if you are working towards it, you shouldn't be wasting time with stupid questions and infighting. You call yourselves scholars, but you drama queens are probably better suited for an acting troupe with the displays you put on. You're a disgrace to be honest." With that, Sanzo unfolded his legs, stood up and stretched, not noticing the two old men struggling to compose themselves. "That's why I said you were failures."

Shen stammered. "B-but…"

"S-Sanzo-sama!" Chung sputtered. Both men shot to their feet, red streaking their faces. Sanzo was already walking past the three of us back to the inn. Goku sprang to his feet and followed like the faithful pet that he was, while Hakkai turned with a smile and a wave to the rest of the townspeople before following, and I just sauntered off after the three of them.

"Well, that was pointless," Sanzo grumbled, lighting up as he walked. "There are so many things I can't stand in life… Having to pretend I give a shit about doctrine ranks pretty high up there."

"But wouldn't you say that you enjoyed that, even just a tiny bit?" Hakkai asked, following close on Sanzo's left. Goku was pretty much attached at the priest's right hip and I was trailing behind a little bit. No matter how much Sanzo claimed to hate it, I'd felt truth behind his words – whenever he gave out pieces of advice, whether it was about living or saving yourself or… passion and desire….

"Oi!"

Sanzo tilted his head back to see me, but kept walking. I caught up after tossing my cigarette to the ground.

"What did that mean anyway?" I demanded, not caring that I sounded a little winded. "You kept looking at me during that passion stuff…"

The corner of Sanzo's lip curved up ever so slightly. "Consider it a personalized lesson, _erogappa_. You'd benefit from escaping desire."

Goku snorted. "Nice one, Sanzo! Gojyo's too pervy for his own good!"

"Like you'd know anything about that, _bakazaru_! Hey, Sanzo, maybe you should give him some personalized lessons on gluttony!"

"How 'bout lessons on not bein' an asshole?" Goku shot back.

Oh, that did it. "How 'bout lessons on—"

"Shutting the HELL up!" THWACK!

My head stung and my vision spun momentarily before I realized that I had just received a solid blow from the harisen. From Goku's whining, it seemed like it'd been a direct hit on both of us. Sanzo tucked the fan back into his robes and continued on. Hakkai only smiled apologetically and followed. Even Hakuryu's little chirping noises sounded like laughter.

The monkey and I finally regained our senses – at least, I did, I'm not sure how much sense Goku actually **has** – and followed. The slightly stunned innkeeper informed us as soon as we got back that 'two of the town elders' had arranged for 'Sanzo-sama and his knowledgeable followers' to have two huge private baths at the hot springs, free of charge.

Say what you want, San-chan's got skills. I **definitely** think I'm in love. ♥

-+-

It figured. What I wanted more than anything else was some time with my hot-tempered love interest and he insisted that he got one pool all to himself while the rest of us shared. "I'm the only one who did any work today," he reasoned, until Hakkai raised an eyebrow and Sanzo coughed and mumbled something about how behind-the-scenes didn't count.

So, I sat at the edge of the pool, dipping my legs in the water and trying not to be too down about it. At least I was getting the bath I wanted, why couldn't I enjoy it?

Oh yeah. Because I couldn't get him alone to talk about how much his talk this afternoon had affected me. From the looks of it, after we left this place, it would be more camping for a few days. Meaning my frustrations were only going to increase. It'd been almost three weeks since I'd 'confessed,' so to speak, and I honestly couldn't take it anymore.

"Gojyo," Hakkai said, interrupting my thoughts. I noticed the cautious tone and swung my head in his direction. He was sitting on the opposite side of the bath with his arms stretched out along the sides. "Aren't you getting in?"

Goku was barely visible above the water; he'd sunk down to his nose and his eyes were heavily lidded from the warm water. I couldn't help but compare him to those Snow Monkeys that hop in onsens with people sometimes. A few bubbles escaped to the surface, but he looked utterly satisfied and I didn't have the heart to tease him. Especially not when a naked, wet, sexy-as-hell monk was bathing next door, water sliding down his bare chest as those droopy violet eyes slid shut in contentment…. What was I saying again?

That was the last straw. I pulled myself to my feet, splashing Goku and making him yelp in protest. Hakkai blinked, looking concerned. "Are you feeling all right, Gojyo?"

"Yeah," I muttered, smoothing out my towel and heading for the exit. I was going next door no matter what. "Back in a few."

My heart pounded in my chest again as I opened the door to the pool where Sanzo was. In the changing room I saw his robe hung over a bench and the rest of his things spilled into a basket. It was a happy medium between Hakkai's obsessive tidiness and me 'n Goku's reckless abandon. I adjusted the towel again in the vain attempt to hide my… ahem, growing excitement and slid open the door to the pool.

Sanzo was exactly where I thought he'd be, resting with the water up to mid-chest, sitting on the right side, completely opposite from the wall shared with our pool. His eyes were closed and I gulped as I noticed his towel folded neatly on the ground right behind him. '_Don't think of Sanzo naked, don't think of Sanzo naked… shit._'

"Hey." My mouth was so used to my natural flirting that it apparently didn't need my brain in order to work. "Pretty inspiring there today, 'Sanzo-sama.' You worked hard (2)." All said with the utmost sarcasm, of course.

One purple eye lazily slid open. "I guess the words 'private bath' mean nothing to you." But there was something about the way that his lips twitched again that made me know he wasn't entirely serious. He was probably just enjoying my discomfort, the little sadist.

When I continued to hesitate at the edge of the pool, he gave me a frustrated sigh. "Are you getting in or not?"

"Thought you wanted alone time."

It was at that moment that he stood up, turned around, and gave me the once-over. My eyes instantly focused on the water droplets as they either slid down his toned abdomen or into the defined cut where his hips began. The water level was just below his navel and I felt desire flood my system like never before.

"We **are** alone." Wait, was that Genjyo Sanzo giving me that seductive look? No! I was the one who did the seducing around here! Goddamn sorry excuse for a priest, stealing my thunder…

I got so caught up in my thoughts that it didn't register for a few seconds that Sanzo had just reached up and ripped my towel off. I then raced down the steps, not bothering to get myself used to the heat of the water.

Our lips smashed together in a frenzy and I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him closer. My left hand slid down beneath the water to cup his ass and he pulled back, a lustful moan escaping his mouth. I started to grind us together, gasping at how good the contact felt. Sanzo whispered my name into my ear breathily and I felt his hands clamp down on my hips.

"I love you," I murmured, rocking harder and attaching my mouth to various spots on his neck. Happiness flowed through me, only held back by a tiny bit of doubt. Would he tease me like before and get rid of me after I helped him get off?

"That's what you said last night," he replied, sliding his tongue into my mouth, which made me see stars. His right hand moved up to my face, fingers gently brushing my scars before entangling themselves in my hair.

My free hand slid down to his thighs, making him jerk and let out a grunt of pleasure. "I thought **you** said that. I swear it was your voice," I teased. Slowly, he let me spread his legs. "Also thought you wanted to get rid of desire."

He groaned as I started planting kisses on his throat. I loved feeling the vibration through my lips; it sent shivers up my spine. "Probably… should," he managed, letting me push a leg in between his.

"Unfortunately for you," I said, licking my way back up to his right ear. "I'm not planning to try for Nirvana anytime soon. I'll take my passion here and now." He trembled as I took the lobe between my lips and sucked gently.

"Unh…" Sanzo fumbled for something to say, but when someone is manipulating one of your weak spots, it gets a little tough. "A… few more lifetimes then."

I pulled back, grinning as wide as possible. "Screw enlightenment. I'd rather be reborn a thousand times if I get to spend each life with you." When his eyes widened, I took my opportunity.

I slid around behind him, pushing him towards the side where he'd been sitting. He kept his legs slack, but I spread them further, pressing up against him from behind and enjoying how he arched against me. He was panting just a bit, sweating from the activity and the heat of the water. It was a million times better than any fantasy I'd ever had.

His eyes shut tightly when my fingers slid in and began to stretch him. I tried to be as gentle as possible, but I still felt bad knowing he must be gritting his teeth. "Should I stop?" I asked in a low voice, worried.

"K-keep going, I'm not made of glass," he insisted, pushing back against me. "Ohhh…"

That was all I needed. After sufficiently getting him prepared, I pressed up once more from behind. "Sanzo…"

"Dammit," he moaned, gripping the edge of the pool. "Stop torturing me. I want it." The last sentence came out in a hiss.

I threw my head back as I thrust into him for the first time. Meaningless words escaped me as the heat and lust and need rolled into an impossibly perfect combination.

Sanzo cried out as I continued, desperately trying to get closer. He moved too, attempting to meet me at every thrust. I kissed him madly, leaving trails all over his neck and shoulders. He was gripping the edge so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

I decided to add to the experience by reaching one hand down from his hips to stroke him in time with the other actions. He was almost chanting my name as I worked him harder and fought to keep myself from getting overly excited. But shit, it was hard…

"Go… Go…" He rocked back into me, completely coated in sweat and trying not to sound like he was begging me. He was too beautiful for words. If it had only been lust like I thought at the beginning, I'd say he was just pretty to look at, writhing in my arms and moaning like crazy. But I was in love with him, dammit, and knowing that he felt the same made the sex infinitely better. As corny as it sounds, I knew that for the first time in my life, I was 'making love.'

"G-Gojyo…" I felt his legs begin to quiver against me and I knew he was almost there. That was the one sign that he was at the edge, ready to jump off. I nipped at his ear again, higher this time as he mumbled words of encouragement, along with my name.

"Oh… Oh yes, gods…" Blond hair filled my vision entirely as he leaned back against me, shuddering and releasing into my hand.

The heat and pressure intensified around me, eliciting a rumbling moan from deep within my throat. Shit, he was so sexy… I gripped his hips tightly, finally getting my own release. "Sanzo, fuck… Sanzo!"

At that very moment, my vision went white and my heart overflowed with tenderness for this man in my arms. Peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, and most of all, bliss. That was better than any 'extinction of desire.' I could hear his voice in my head. '_It is the Supreme Bliss_.'

When I opened my eyes, we had separated. His arms found their usual spot around my neck and I pulled him into an embrace. "Sanzo… love, that was…"

"I know," he replied softly, letting me see that the amethyst was shining. "We shouldn't have waited so long."

I laughed, feeling myself come back down to Earth. "Three weeks is a damn long time when I'm used to a regular diet of sex. You understand I won't let you get away with three weeks ever again."

He glanced down at the part of me that was hidden by the water. I was a few inches taller than him, so the water barely covered the important stuff. "I don't plan on going more than a day." What was that look? Was he really flirting with me?

"Oh?" I broke into a full grin. "Have I created a monster?"

He shrugged, wading past me to the steps, where I took full advantage of watching him climb out of the onsen. Damn. Turning around, he offered his own smirk. "Planning on staying there all night? Kappa's natural element is water, isn't it?"

I strode to the edge of the water, feeling much more confident than I had in the past few weeks. "Maybe, but **my** natural element is the bedroom. ♥" I didn't bother to hide my leer.

"Ch." Sanzo turned back around and headed to the changing room. I pulled myself out of the pool immediately, got dressed in the room, and followed him back to the inn.

I smiled to myself, letting the events settle in my mind. Funny how life works. Meditation gave me courage, knowledge earned me his trust, and now we can find our own bliss whenever we damn well please.

"Naa, kappa." Sanzo glared at me and I realized I'd wrapped an arm around his waist while lost in my thoughts. "Hands off in public."

"But it's hard when you're so adorable, Sun—"

THWACK!

"OI!"

-Owari-

Notes:

(1) "Arrow Questions" – taken from a parable the Buddha told when asked about the meaning of life and existence. He compared it to a man who'd just been shot with a poisoned arrow and instead of taking it out, demanded to know where the arrow had come from, what it was made of, who shot it, and many other unnecessary questions while he was dying from the poison. Despite all the questions one asks about the afterlife, it doesn't matter if you don't eliminate the root of suffering

(2) "You worked hard." This is another example of Gojyo being sarcastic by speaking extremely politely. The Japanese phrase is _Otsukaresama deshita_.


End file.
